1066 All Stars

I was intrigued by the thought that I hadn't written a blog in a couple of weeks and wondered why.

When I stop to think about it, I generally write blogs for two primary purposes. Number one, where I have a specific mental health point I want to address, such as the importance of change or addressing stigma. Number two, when I am reflecting on a period of low mood.

But rarely do I blog simply about being happy. Well I am happy, so I'm going to blog about it.

So why am I happy? There is no single reason. I have lost over a stone in weight in the last year and, perhaps more importantly, managed to maintain my weight. I have found an honest to goodness hobby that I enjoy, writing weekly retrogaming articles. These are undouubtedly contributing factors.

But life continues to have its stresses. Marriage, children, owning a home, building a career, these things bring joy but they also bring challenges. It is only natural every now and then to stop and wonder if you shouldn't have turned left instead of right.

But there also comes a point when you simply have to accept. It is no good buying an apple and then complaining that it doesn't taste like an orange. This is the life I chose for myself. I finally feel ready to start living it. 

In a sense I feel I have begun to embrace who I am. Perhaps I am not as funny as I used to be. Perhaps I'm not so impulsive. Perhaps I have become, dare I say it, rather boring. So be it. One thing I am sure of is that I have also become a lot nicer. I rather prefer the new me to the old. My experience of depression and anxiety has helped to make me the person I am today. But they do not define me.

Part of a sustainable recovery is having those around you that help to foster a positive environment. During therapy, we would often discuss the importance of a strong support group but deep down, I always felt that this was a path I was walking alone. I have never had a wide circle of friends, preferring to seek out and build one-on-one relationships with specific individuals. And so I convinced myself that I did not have a network I could rely on. I was wrong.

I have the support of my wife. I have the support of my children, whether they are conscious of it or not. I have the support of both sides of the family. I have a close circle of friends, some old and some new.

Sometimes support comes in the shape of a deep and meaningful. Sometimes it is being there to pick you up and help you to try again. Sometimes it is about making you laugh even when it is the last thing you feel like doing. Sometimes it is about letting you cry. And sometimes it's just about hanging out and watching Star Wars.

I am grateful for each and every person that has chosen to be part of my life.  Some of you I have known forever. Others only for a short time. But it doesn't matter. It is not how often we have made the journey but what we do when we get there.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.