1066 All Stars

Last weight - 11st 2lbs

New weight - 10st 13lbs

Comments

* And so after my mini-debauchery, a couple of days of good behaviour very quickly gets me back to my pre-Easter weight. A reminder once again that sustained weight loss can be maintained through a lifestyle change, a nominal binge here and there isn't going to hurt.

* As may be expected, returning to work after a week off brings up a set of emotions but perhaps more surprisingly, taking time off in the first place is also difficult.

* This may be strange for others to understand but having time off brings a its own stress. Day after day of wishing I was anywhere else is suddenly replaced by a horizon of freedom. I can do what I want, when I want.

Only I can't, because at home I have different masters to serve. The kids, quite naturally, come first.

But surely this is something to look forward to?

Yes, but it brings a pressure to perform. I must find activities to do, I should enjoy every moment with them.

This is counter-balanced by a need to achieve certain chores in the house as well as a desire to simply rest and recharge the batteries, a desire that inevitably goes unfulfilled.

* And so I return to work, back to the routine and the drudgery. I have an almost overwhelming sadness about it. I read with envy articles from various individuals in business who seem to genuinely enjoy their vocation. Mine is a means to end, something I must do to pay the bills.

In a sense, I find myself back in the same rut as a few years ago, grimly plodding on until retirement when I finally get to live life on my own terms for a couple of years until I shuffle off this mortal coil, subconsciously wishing my entire life away.

* Clearly this is unsustainable, not to mention unhealthy. What then is the answer? That is the puzzle I mean to solve.