1066 All Stars

End of week 25 - Saturday 21st February 2015

Starting weight - 12st 4lbs

Target weight - 10st 6lbs

Last weight - 11st 1lb

New weight - 10st 13lbs

Thoughts

* I wasn't sure that I could be bothered to write this blog. I have become incredibly frustrated at the lack of interest generated, succumbing to thoughts of 'why bother, no-one's reading?' I recognise the alternative, the thought that says just write for yourself. But it isn't enough anymore.

When I first started writing I did it for the fun of it and the benefit it brought me mentally to explore my thoughts and feelings. It was a novelty when friends and family read along and a genuine surprise and pleasure to find that complete strangers were interested too.

But that's it, I never moved on. Sure I published my own books but no-one buys them, my Februray royalties of 91p are unlikely to allow me to quit my job anytime soon. I feel like a rock band with dreams of playing at Wembley, still stuck performing to their pet dog and kid sister in their mum's garage. Writing for myself isn't enough. I want more.

* Anyway, to the weight itself. This is the second time I have hit 10st 13lbs. Last time I dismissed it as a freak result but this one feels more genuine. I have been at or around 11st for the last couple of weeks and so it was only a matter of time until I dropped below. Target remains 10st 6lbs and although this will be a challenge, I really believe I can do it before the end of the year.

* A tough week or so mood wise. I cannot place anything specific, just a general sense of frustration and disassociation. As ever, I recognise that moods such as these can be lifted, I must choose to follow a new path, which led me to indulging in some retro gaming writing which you can find elsewhere on the site. It is fun, it is nostalgic and it even allows me to tie in some mental health analysis.