1066 All Stars

End of week 5 - 4th October

Starting weight - 12 st 4lb

Last weight - 11st 8lb

New weight - 11st 7lb

Comments

* An early weigh in due to uncertainty over meal plans this weekend, so I wanted to ensure the result was not skewed.

* Well, it's better than nothing I guess but after a week of salad for dinner, lunchtime walks and even turning down a twix (mmm...), I was hoping to have lost more than 1 pound.

* Let's put this in perspective though. I can see that I have lost some fat. I can feel the difference. And so I have to believe that the minor weight differential is caused by increased muscle from the regular exercise, which of course weighs more than fat. I had been cautious in wanting to embrace that thought as it can seem like an excuse but I think it is a reasonable assumption at this point.

* I have missed the food log to an extent. It is a really useful tool for keeping you honest about what you eat and really making you think before reaching for something. For anyone thinking of embarking on a healthy eating regime (not a diet, a sustainable regime), I highly recommend the procees. Despite not physically maintaining the diary, I retained the concept in my mind, helping to structure my day.

* My mood has been very low all week. How much of this is down to the change in diet? How much is part of a depressive mindset? It is difficult to tell. My dietary change has certainly created challenges. I have been noticeably more tired in the afternoon, perhaps reflecting the increased midday carb intake and overall reduced calories. At the same time though, there has been little in the way of disappointment over my evening meal, the salad has been quite satisfactory.

* That said, I'm fixing to give myself a treat at some point next week. Nothing major, I don't want t a big blow out that puts the weight back 3 or 4 pounds, but just something that acknowledges the progress made.

* I suspect that the greater part of my low mood is a genuine mental state. I do not like to hold back in blogs but it is prudent to do so here. There is something bothering me that I don't know how to resolve short term and there is a very real danger that it will drag me down into depression. I must call on my therapy toolbox to see me through this.

* After the free download offer, my second book was downloaded 40 times, including downloads from as far away as Mexico and Canada. Who knows if half the people who downloaded it will read it but it's nice nonetheless. Just a shame I don't make any money from it!

* Speaking of which, I think my writing is contributing to my low mood. Releasing two books, self published or not, makes it tangible and yet at the next moment, I turn round and find myself back in the real world, surrounded by people who have no idea that I do this. It is frustrating. i feel like I have something to say, an important message to share and yet only a handful of people are listening.

* Pain watch - a bad week. Doctor is booked for monday, he's gonna get it.