1066 All Stars

Day 19 - 19th September 2014

Food Log

Breakfast - Tea and Alpen

Lunch - Home made vegetable soup with 1x slice of bread

Dinner - Salad with char sui marinaded chicken

Dessert - Tea with 2x biscuits

In between meal snacks:

3x Rice cake

Banana

Apple

1x crackerbread

Thoughts and Feelings

* Really struggling today. The 5am wake up call from Aiden didn't help but I am finding motivation difficult today on a number of levels. I had a moment of 'it's Friday, you're allowed' when munching into the 3rd rice cake of the morning but I am just a couple of days from the next weigh in. I will be very disappointed if I have not lost anything.

* When does a perceived lack of motivation stray into a bout of depression? I am acutely aware that I have recently lost enthusiasm for a number of things. I have very little interest in watching football to the point that I was aggrieved to see a Liverpool game scheduled for broadcast this weekend, meaning I feel an obligation to watch. I have little compulsion to write any fiction, my thoughts straying around the 'why bother' territory. I used to get excited about onwing the latest gadget, now I just think, 'how is this possibly going to enhance my life?'

* But is this depression? Or is it a case of me changing? Getting older? Maturing even? I have 3 kids, it doesn't leave a lot of time for football or films or games. Life is changing. It is no longer about me, others are more important. I'm not sure how I feel about the transition yet, whether I am adjusting or whether it is affecting my mood.

* So hungry this afternoon that I caved and had a crackerbread on the basis that it was 19 calories. For the all the flavour it offered, I would have been as well to lick the desk.

* Declines - chocolate

* You enjoy yourselves, honestly I'm not bothered - McDonalnds