1066 All Stars

Here Come The Girls

Having been love’s unlucky loser for so many years, something strange happened around 2002-2003; I kissed a couple of girls.

Now let’s not carried away here, I didn’t suddenly turn into a stallion. We are still very much riding the smooch train here. But I started to feel like I wasn’t a completely unattractive, ugly, fat slob. Actually, I thought I was pretty cool, funny and a decent laugh to be around and that seemed far more important to me than how I looked.

Confidence breeds confidence and so I found myself locking lips with a handful of ladies. And I moved past the thought that a girl (any girl) had to be THE girl. I removed the pressure from myself that said if I didn’t hook up with someone tonight I would be single forever. I took these situations for what they were and enjoyed them on my own terms.

Which was fortunate because my life was about to change forever.

I Do

Three vacancies to fill across three teams. Half a dozen interviews, only a handful of decent candidates.

Late one afternoon. ‘Scott, fancy interviewing a young blonde with me?’ That young blonde was Karen and yes, yes I did.

I took to her straight away. She was pretty, she seemed nice (a quality that was surprisingly important to me) and I took an instant shine to her. I’ll always remember the date (15th September 2003, fact fans) because her interview coincided with a dear friend’s birthday.

Needless to say, she got the job and I managed to manipulate our resources so that she ended up in my team. I had to remain frustratingly aloof, maintaining a healthy distance as her manager whilst secretly hoping that we could get to know each other better.

Of course deep down I assumed that she wouldn’t be interested. One of my mate’s liked her too and a strange thing occurred in my mind; because he liked her I automatically assumed that meant that she liked him. To my mind, there was no possible way that she would like me back.

But we started spending more and more time together. I would join her for cigarette breaks (yes, the dirty chimney mouth. I soon got rid of that habit) and she would come back to my house for tea and biscuits (honest!).

And then one Christmas, there was a problem with the trains. Karen being Karen, she offered to drive me all the way down to Hastings, then sat at the dinner table and forced down a steak the size of Norway that mum laid on for us. Christmas Day, I got horrifically drunk then spent two hours on the phone to her, nagging her on all the reasons why we should get together. She came back to Hastings to pick me up and surprised me by curling her hair ( I love her natural curly hair!). That night, back in Tolworth, as she stood on the doorstep saying goodbye, we shared our first kiss. All together now; ahhh.

There was one more Hastings visit to come. I had returned home for New Year and on a last minute decision (and much nagging on my part), Karen joined me. We saw in the New Year together watching Dirty Dancing. It was great.

In 2008, we got married. 8 years later, I wake thankful everyday that this wonderful woman came into my life.

Despite it all, my self confidence issues remain. I look at our wedding photos and genuinely wonder why someone as beautiful as her would marry such a funny looking little troll as me. Don’t get me wrong, I recognise that I have strengths; I am smart, witty and kind. But bottom line is that I think I am ugly, or at best a bit weird looking. I keep waiting for Karen to realise. I wonder why she felt she had to lower her standards and settle for me.

Almost There

One last post to come as I look back on the events that brought me to where I am today.