1066 All Stars

The start of week 3 and the end of the 30 days is in sight.

My weight has been fluctuating between 10st 4lbs and 10st 5lbs, either of which puts me below my long term weight target of 10st 6lbs.

More importantly though, for the first time I find myself not caring, in a good way. When I look in the mirror, I can clearly see results; my stomach is flatter, my moobs have gone, even my biceps are showing definition! Bottom line is that this is working and I am finally starting to embrace the sense that the number on the scales is irrelevant as long as I look and feel good. I am looking forward to posting my before and after pics in my wrap up blog.

The negativity of the first week is well and truly gone too. In hindsight, it was largely borne out of a lack of direction. I wasn't entirely sure what I was looking to achieve, having already lost significant weight. I also missed the rigidity of diet set out in the Clean 9, the FIT1 pack giving you a set of tablets, gels and shakes to take each day but otherwise leavng you to form your own dietary plan. I found this freedom touched on my anxiety, flaring a feeling that I was getting it wrong. Eventually I came to understand that there was no such thing, only what was right for me.

Calorie counting has been a very effective tool. It makes me think about what I'm eating and reveals where my calories are coming from. As above, I initially carried a sense of my diet being wrong but I have come to embrace the fact that, so long as my overall intake is within 'budget' and packed with goodness, it doesn't matter if they are weighted towards breakfast, lunch, dinner or snacks. And if there are the occasional days where I stray over then so be it. Balances is the most important thing, together with the sense that this will be sustainable.

But by far the biggest revelation to me has been the exercise. As a regular walker, I considered myself relatively fit but the resistance based workouts have been eye opening. Again, to start with this was off-putting. I struggled to complete the first couple of days and beat myself up over my inability to complete a full set of reps or a proper push up. But as with the diet, I have reached a sense of inner peace. I can only do what I am capable of within the moment. Despite my best efforts, I simply cannot complete a sit up and so rather than decry this fact, I switched them out for crunches. Push ups are equally hard and so I perform the modified version with knees down. I will work my way up to these exercises in time, another set of personal, achievable long term goals.

And that is perhaps my main take away at this point. FIT1 may only be for 30 days but the lessons and behaviours it is teaching me will go on long after. No doubt I'll have a short break once this finishes but after that, I look forward to continuing a modified exercise regime whilst calorie counting is now a fundamental part of my weight management.

Challenges

One of the most challenging aspects of the plan is that, as much as you want to focus on it, normal life goes on around you.

It can be difficult to plan your meals effectively when cooking for a household with different tastes but in particular, last week I found myself at the centre of an anxiety storm surrounding events at work. For the first time, I sought excuses not to exercise, barely scraping through my prescribed cardio.

But I addressed the underlying issue, worked through it and came out of the other side determined to continue the progress made. Rather than focus on the wobble, I take pride in being brave enough to ask for help and to admit that I was struggling.

And hey, the journey would get pretty boring if there weren't a few speed bumps along the way.