1066 All Stars

Current weight - 11st 3lbs

Short term target weight - 11st

Long term target weight - 10st 6lbs

Food Log

Breakfast - Bran Flakes with sultanas

Lunch - Cheese and tomato maked bread, 3x cocktail sausages, 2x grapes, 1x fruit bake bar

Dinner - Burger and chips

Dessert - Chocolate eclair

Snacks - 1x snack-a-jack, handful of chips, quarter of leftover mini pizza

Drinks - Insufficient water, tea

Exercise

Walking - 25 minutes

Thoughts

* Well I finally succumbed to that burger I had been craving all week. I am alreading having food guilt. Oh well, the weigh in tomorrow will reveal all. I will be very annoyed if I have crept up a pound but ultimately must accept what is.

* The weekend, which so often seems to bring a low mood and so it proved today. There is perhaps a danger that I am telegraphing this behaviour; I worry it will happen and in so doing turn it into a self fulfilling prophesy.

* So what drives it? It is I believe a combination of genuinely being tired from a week at work combined with a sense of resentment at not getting a break. The kids are up at the same time regardless and whilst the girls would happily jump into the bed and watch telly for a bit, Aiden wants feeding, like an ornery goat, forcing me to get up. I then stomp around like a bear with a sore head for most of the day, snapping, shouting and sulking before the inevitable wave of guilt and shame sweeps in to finish the job. Almost inevitably by Sunday, normal mood order is restored.

* The answer of course lies with mindfulness, a technique I admire greatly but find so hard to implement. Mindfulness teaches us to accept what is rather than wasting on energy on thoughts of what was or what could be. It does not preclude us from seeking change, far from it, but urges a sense of living in the moment and dealing with what you find. It is a skill I wish to master but I remain a novice for now.