1066 All Stars

New weight – 11st 4lbs

Comments

* A disappointing weigh-in.

After regularly weighing in at around 11st, even dipping as low as 10st 12lbs, 11st 4lbs represents my first real increase in some time.

* I had been trying not to weigh in throughout September. During my August holiday, I had become concerned by my obsession with weighing in almost daily and so thought I would benefit from going ‘cold turkey.’ But this threw up new challenges.

Quite early on, I would allow myself a treat on the basis that, without a weigh in, I would not be answerable to the scales. There were no consequences to my actions. Towards the end, guilt started to build as to what I had eaten and I became anxious about what my weight would be.

At this point I had a decision to make. I could either stubbornly see out the month, sticking rigidly to the fabricated timescale I had made for myself. Or, I could consider 20+ days a reasonable break and check in, providing some closure and alleviating the anxiety.

* It is interesting to note the thinking errors at play in this weigh in. 11st 4lbs is 4lbs above what I would consider a best case weigh in and 2lbs above what I consider a decent result.

Yet these considerations were abandoned. As soon as I saw the result, I engaged in black and white thinking, catastrophising and discounting of positives.

Some balance then. Yes, I am heavier than I would like. But then I have eaten more and done less this month. There is no mystery involved, no circumstances conspiring against me. Plus of course I know where I have been and can therefore get there again.

* This also brings me nicely back round to the point of this blog, tying in healthy eating to mental health. As a society, we often use labels to describe ourselves and others but they are both harmful and inaccurate.

Take depression for instance. I do not describe myself as being depressed. I suffer from depression. It is a subtle difference but an important one. The first suggests an unalterable state, beyond my control. The second accepts that things may be a certain way at that moment in time but that does not define who you are as a person.

And so it is with my weight. I am not inherently, unalterably fat. But I am overweight. Which in turn implies that I have a target in mind and can (and will) actively work my way towards it.

* I must now battle a sense of impatience. I feel overweight and so there is a desperation to get a couple of pounds off immediately. But balance is the key here. It know that adherence to my daily plan results in the weight I want to achieve.

* There is also a sense of embarrassment. I have, to an extent, allowed this weight plan to define me for the last year. I have been proud of the weight lost and the transformation in my approach to food. Now this is tinged with a sense of failure. Nonsense of course, this is simply a step back and a reminder of the need to maintain a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

Food Log

I have found maintaining a food diary to be an excellent way of taking accountability for my food intake. You don’t have to share it publicly like I do but for anyone trying to lose weight, I highly recommend writing everything down.

Breakfast – Toasted oat flakes, tea

Nibbles – Apple, 2x cereal biscuits, 1x cheese string

Lunch – Sandwich & 3x snack-a-jacks

Dinner – Salad with frankfurter sausages

Dessert – Tea

Exercise – 45 - 60 mins walking