1066 All Stars

Middle of week 20 - 14th January

Starting weight - 12st 4lb

Last weight - 11st 2lbs

New weight - 11st 2lbs

Comments

* A pleasant surprise this week to maintain my weight at 11st 2lbs. After waking up with a random, rather painful foot injury that made it difficult to drive, let alone walk, I was unable to get any meaningful exercise on Monday or Tuesday. Some improvement today meant I was able to have a semi-normal walk.

* A further surprise came when I thought my trousers seemed a little tight, prompting me to worry that I had put on weight, only to discover that I had moved down another notch on my belt. That's two notches over the last few months. My shirts also feel much looser. I'm going to need a new wardrobe at this rate!

* The weigh in was doubly surprising as I indulged in a couple of chocolate bites yesterday. 'Ooh, you devil,' I hear the four of you who read this cry. Yes, I appreciate it is a non-issue to have a little snack here and there but my reaction is worthy of note. As soon as the chocolatey treat touches my lips I feel like I am putting on about 8 pounds a bite. It is a gross exaggeration but it remains my first reaction.

* I was tempted to resort to the stock phrase of, 'I can't help myself' reacting this way. It is a seemingly innocent phrase that we all use from time to time. But it is wrong and it is unhealthy. I CAN help from feeling this way. I am not a fixed state, I can change. It is just more difficult.

One of the consequences of mental illness can be a tendency to always see the negative, to filter out anything positive.

Therapy taught me the importance of being kind to myself and so I thought I would make a list of some of the things I can be proud of. In no particular order...

...I have a beautiful wife, who loves me...

...I have three healthy, happy children...

...I have a job that I am good at...

...I have published not one, not two but three books of my own writing...

...I have lost 16lbs as part of a self created healthy living plan...

...I wake up everyday trying to be better than I was the day before.

And I have done all of this whilst trying to recover from mental illness.

I am not perfect, but I have learnt to accept that I don't need to be. I get a lot of things wrong. But I also get a lot of things right.

Mental illness is not mental weakness.

What's your kindness list?