1066 All Stars

Day 54 - 24th October

Food Log

Breakfast - Weetabix Minis

Lunch - Turkey with pasta in onion and garlic tomato sauce

Dinner - Oven cooked chips with sausages, eggs and spaghetti.

Dessert - 4 jelly sweets

In Between Meal Snacks

* 2x rice cakes

* Go Ahead yoghurt bar (x2)

Thoughts & Feelings

* In yesterdays blog I wrote about the noticeable change in my emotional reactions and this morning provided two further examples. My compilation CD included two particular songs, one by Def Leppard and one by Eminem, both of which prompted within me a wave of nostalgia. In the case of Def Leppard, I was whisked back to my childhood in Hastings. As for Eminem, I was transported to my mid to late 20's, sharing a house or flat with friends and spending most of our time inebriated.

* At face value, these two periods in my life have nothing in common, the first capturing my school life and a time when my (original) family unit was complete, the second a time of independence and relative decadence.

* However, on closer examination there is a theme. In both instances, I am free of responsibility. Whilst at school, your parents take care of everything, my only worries being whether I will get to play football at lunch or be stuck inside listening to some oaf read out stories from the Sun. In the second, I am a single man with no financial responsibilities, no life pressures, no work stresses, my week framed around nights out and hangovers.

* I pine for these times. I miss them. But spending too much time ruminating on what we have lost can cause us to lose sight of what we have gained. My (new) family brings pressure, stress and responsibility. But it also brings joy, love and fulfilment. It is okay to dream and it is okay to reminisce. But don't forget to live.

* A dinner of necessity tonight.

* DISASTER! Forgot my apple again.

* In The Anxiety Diaries, I wrote about some early morning anxiety. Predictably, by the time I got to work it had passed. In fact work was fairly relaxed all day. My mood was good and my energy levels were good.