1066 All Stars

Day 53 - 23rd October

Food Log

Breakfast - Weetabix Minis

Lunch - Bacon and mushrooms with pasta in onion and garlic tomato sauce

Dinner - Turkey steak with veg

Dessert - 4x caramel something-or-other bites

In Between Meal Snacks

* Apple

* 2x rice cakes

* Go Ahead yoghurt bar (x2)

Thoughts & Feelings

* Listening to some music in the car this morning and it occurred to me how much more emotional I have become. The slightest thing, positive or negative, can set of a reaction. A stirring crescendo perhaps or an inspiring lyric, things that in the past would barely have registered with me now make a very clear impact.

* Why is this? It's not a bad thing per se, just intriguing. I no longer take anti-depressants, which likely has an impact. I suspect though that the most important factor is that I have changed. therapy made me look deep into my soul and I didn't always like what I found. I am far more in touch with my own feelings now and by association, the feelings of those around me.

* From the outside I doubt people would notice anything different. If I were to watch something on TV that moved me almost to tears (it has happened), I suppress it. As open and emotional as I can be in my writing, I remain rather more reserved in person.

* Feeling a little bit of a piggy after lunch. I cooked a touch too much pasta but ate it all anyway. This will be a test of the science in a couple of ways. 1) will it impact my weight; 2) will it impact my tiredness and mood?

* Despite everything, I still have those occasional moments, brought on by a sight or a sound, where I have cause to think about my old working life. It is romanticising of course, filtering out all the bad stuff and just retaining the good, principally the familiarity and status. I refuse to judge these moments. They create a feeling and it is right to sit with that feeling. Over time, they will no doubt pass.