1066 All Stars

Day 29 - 29th September

Food Log

Breakfast - Weetabix minis

Lunch - Jacket potato with salad

Dinner - Leftover chicken with veg

Dessert - Yoghurt with chocolate balls

In Between Meal Snacks

2x rice cakes

Apple

Thoughts & Feelings

* I was alarmed to see that it was raining this morning, which might prevent me getting a lunchtime walk. It is interesting to note my reaction as I was very disappointed at the prospect of not getting out, rationalising in my mind what level of wetness would be tolerable versus how I could fit in some exercise elsewhere in the day. As it turned out, I was able to get out as normal.

* What a marked change though from wanting to do anything but exercise to being desperate to do so.

* Talking of marked changes, I was given another opportunity today to reflect on the importance of mentality to a regime change such as this. When choccies and biscuits were proffered, my immediate reaction was, 'I would rather lose weight than eat chocolate.' It is not so long ago that I had convinced myself that I was not mentally ready to lose weight, that my fragile / depressive mindset needed the comfort that snacking and binge eating provides. The sugar rush has been replaced by the endorphins of exercise.

* A combination of washing on the rack plus a sandpit resulted in a forced switch to the 34 inch trousers today. And...they fit fine. I was right to wait as, whilst they fit, it is a snug fit. Had I tried earlier, I may have become disheartened. Proof again that this plan is working.

* Talking of being disheartened, I think I have now largely moved through the phase where I would throw in the towel in the event of a disappointing weigh in. I have proven to myself what can be done, even in a very short space of time. There is a way to go yet but I have a realistic Christmas weight target in mind. Losing weight will only get harder from here as there is less to play with so I must be mindful to be patient and to be kind to myself.

* I received a lovely e-mail from my (former) therapist today, speaking kindly of my book. She even mentioned that she refers it to some patients where applicable, which is a wonderful compliment. Combined with yesterday's news, I am feeling very positive about my writing. I hope that you are enjoying these instalments as much as I feel the benefit from writing them.

* Pain watch - mainly across the shoulders today, necessitating some pills. It is a shame that I can't swap heads with someone for a day so that I could get some perspective on the level of pain and discomfort I have compared to a 'normal' person. It is difficult to know if what I am experiencing is minor, major or somewhere in between. All I know is that it very often hurts. Sure, not as much as jumping onto a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

* Declines - chocolate, biscuits, sweets