1066 All Stars

'A chihuahua!' said a voice in the dark.

'A chihuahua?' asked a second voice. 'Why would there be a chihuahua down here?'

'Hmm, okay,' said the first voice. 'Um...a cheetah!'

The second voice signed. 'No Dave, there are no cheetah's either.'

'Oh,' said Dave. 'Well I give up then.'

'It was cave,' said the first voice.

'Of course,' said Dave, 'That was my next guess. Okay Dirk, my turn. I-spy with my little eye something beginning with...er...c.'

'Is it cave?' asked Dirk.

'Wow, you're good at this,' said Dave, impressed.

'Enough bloody I-spy,' said a third voice. 'You're driving me mad.'

'Sorry Steve,' said Dave. An awkward silence rippled across the cave. 'If you're happy and you know it clap your...'

'Shut up!' shouted Dirk and Steve.

More silence. The only sound in the cave was the drip-drip-drip of water on the cave floor.

Steve sighed. A long, weary sigh. 'I-spy with my little eye...'

'Maybe we should work on a plan to get out of here,' said another voice.

'Wow, what a novel idea, Geoff,' said Steve sarcastically. 'Why did none of us think of that?'

More silence followed. 'Well, I was only saying was all,' said Geoff. 'After all, we've been in worse situations.'

'Oh I don't know,' said Dirk. 'I can't think of many occasions when I've been chained upside down in a damp, dark cave with Dave, Steve and a talking monkey.'

More silence. Drip-drip-drip.

'The Grand Old Duke of York...'

'SHUT UP!'

'Cough-cough-splutter-cough.'

'Who was that?' asked Dirk.

'It wasn't me,' said Steve. 'Was that you Dave?'

'It wasn't me,' said Dave. 'Have you got a cough Geoff?'

'Nope, wasn't me,' said Geoff.

Eyes in the dark turned to the general direction of the coughing.

'Cough-ahem. Don't mind me,' said a voice. 'I think I must have fallen asleep.'

'How long have you been down here?' asked Dirk.

'Oh, let me see now,' said the voice, pausing to think. 'Why I really don't know. A number of years I think.'

'Years?!' spluttered Steve. 'We can't be stuck down here for years, we have a galaxy to rescue.'

'Oh, that does sound exciting,' said the voice. 'So how did you end up being chained up in this cave?'

'Well,' said Dave with a sigh,' that is a long story...'

So begins the adventures of The Funky Gibbon and the Mere Mortals! Chapter One coming soon...