1066 All Stars

So that's it, I have completed the Clean 9 challenge. Nine days of calorie controlled diet, supplements and Aloe Vera Gel. Lots of Aloe Vera Gel.

How was it? Did I achieve my goals? Would I do it again? Would I recommend it to others? Let's take a look...

The Plan

Days 1-2

It is quite the culture shock switching from a normal breakfast with a cup of tea to some Aloe Gel and a couple of tablets. Hunger pangs on these first two days are unavoidable and you will need to make use of the free food list. Just when you think you couldn't possibly drink another cupful of Aloe Gel, guess what? You need to drink another cupful of Aloe Gel.

Midway through day two, you may feel tired, even faint. You'll have (quite literally) had a gutful of drinking nothing but water. These are undoubtedly the hardest days of the plan. But you can do it.

Tips - start your plan when you have time and freedom to relax and take it easy. Not recommended for a busy day at work. And don't forget your free foods, which you can eat in moderation throughout the plan. 

Days 3-6

Day 3 represents a triple whammy of good news.

To start with it is weigh in day so hopefully the teeth gnashing frustration of days 1-2 will see you rewarded with a few pounds off on the scales.

Secondly, you actually get to eat something! Breakfast and lunch introduces the shake. Your first inclination may be to wonder how this puny looking milk drink is going to help and why, for the love of all that is good and holy, you can't just eat something. But it turns out that the shakes are fab. the vanilla one is really tasty and packed full of vitamins but best of all, it keeps you feeling full right through to the next mealtime.

And finally, it's a real dinner! Enjoy, and look forward to another weigh in on day 6.

Tips - use skimmed milk with the shake, both for the lower calories and ease of drinking. Personally I loved it but if you find the taste  too bland, add some strawberries or other fruit to make a smoothie. And don't get discouraged if the weigh in isn't as thrilling as you hoped. There is still a long way to go and you're doing lots of good things to get your body ready for weight management.

Days 7-9

The finishing line is in sight now and after two (hopefully) positive weigh ins and measures, you'll likely be feeling pretty good about yourself.

By now your exercise regime should have increased to match the additional calories. The 600 calorie meal limit leaves plenty of scope for tasty dinners and if you get those evening hunger pangs, don't forget the free food list.

Day 9 represents the last day and a final weigh in. Give yourself a pat on the back, you did it.

Tips - plan your meals and count out your calories before you start cooking. And no cheating either, because the only person you are cheating is yourself. Find exercise difficult? Not a gym rat or a swimmer? Use your lunch break for a brisk walk or take the kids out to the park. There are plenty of opportunities for sneaking in some exercise if you really look for them.

The Final Countdown

Let's take a look at the measurement chart and see how I did.

Day one measurements

Weight - 11st 3lbs

Chest - 39 inches

Biceps - 10 inches

Waist - 35.5 inches

Hips - 37 inches

Thighs - 21.5 inches

Calves - 13.5 inches

Day nine measurements

Weight - 10st 13lbs

Chest - 37.5 inches

Biceps - 10 inches

Waist - 35 inches

Hips - 35.5 inches

Thighs - 20 inches

Calves - 13.5 inches

The day 9 measurements were of course taken with one day of the plan still to go. With this in mind, I decided to do a final (final) weigh in the next day (day 10 if you like).

Weight - 10st 12lbs

Goals

So how did I do against my initial targets?

Skin

I had hoped for clearer skin, the unslightly and uncomfortable blemishes clearing across my neck, back and shoulders.

Result - whilst I noticed a definite change to my complexion, my skin loking and feeling less greasy, sadly there was no noticeable improvement.

Target not met.

Mind

I have long experienced tiredness, lethargy and difficulty concentrating that are not related to my underlying issues of depression and anxiety.

Result - I noticed a significant improvement to my energy levels and, by association, my mood. It was like a fog had cleared from my mind and I felt energised and engaged. This was the goal I thought the least likely to reap any benefits and I am both surprised and delighted with the results.

Target met

Weight

After losing a good chunk of weight over the last 12-15 months, I had become stuck at or around the 11st 3lb mark. I hoped to break through the 11st barrier with a short term target weight of 10st 12lbs.

It took until day 6 but the 11st barrier was breached. My weight then remained unchanged at day 9, dropping a further pound post-plan, hitting my 10st 12lb target.

Target met.

Before and After

The moment of truth. After an end of plan celebratory haircut, how do I look?

Some definite improvements. My stomach is noticeably flatter, especially at the sides. I think that's even a bit of ribcage I can make out there whilst my chest / moob area has also tightened up.

And here I am from the side. Again, the general tightening is visible, although still a little way to go.

No real change to neck, shoulders and back. Perhaps I was naive to think nine days would be sufficient to address such an underlying issue.

Thoughts

Change of Mentality

I had thought myself a relatively healthy eater but the plan helped me to take a step back and understand the conveniences I had fallen into. Those £1 snack bars and rice cakes may be better than a bag of crisps and chocolate but they are still packed full of garbage. There is no substitute for real fresh fruit and vegetables.

And they don't have to break the bank. Shop around, go for the bargains, keep your snacking varied.

Calorie Counting

I was surprised how much you can pack into a 600 calorie meal and started to wonder how I usually get to my recommended 2,000 calorie daily limit. Of course the answer partly lies in the snacking noted above but also in desserts, breakfast choices and good old fashioned over sized portions.

In this day of instant search results and apps, calorie counts are just a finger tip away, making it easier than ever to plan your meal and portion properly.

Shakes

I loved them! Quick and convenient, tasty and filling, they were great for both breakfast and lunch and I have already placed an order for more.

Headaches

I am routinely plagued with headaches, paracetamol and ibuprofen a regular part of my daily routine.

However whilst on the plan, the odd morning wobble aside, they were virtually non-existent. I'm not sure what element of the plan has helped. Perhaps it is the supplements, perhaps it is the additional water. Perhaps it is simply reducing the level of caffeine and sugar in my diet. Either way, the results are astounding.

State of Mind

When I underwent therapy for depression and anxiety, there was a moment of clarity that helped me find the path to recovery. It came as I realised the one underlying, fundamental truth; you can change.

The Clean 9 plan is not a magic pill or overnight solution. Like therapy, it is a key to unlock the door but you must choose to walk through.

With the plan now complete, I can snack away to my heart's content. That bag of crisps lying temptingly open in the drawer can be mine at last. That half finished box of sweets and chocolate can finally return to the promised land of my sweaty palm as I shovel them into my gob.

But I don't want to.

Having completed the plan, I feel great and have a really positive mindset. I want to continue what I have started and embed these principles into my daily routine. The occasional treat is fine, sure. But I have no desire to return to where I was. My meal plan today was based around a 300 calorie lunch and a 600 calorie dinner with free food snacking in between. My one indulgence a cookie for dessert, the first in nine days. And I feel absolutely stuffed!

I don't know how long this wave of positivity will last. but I'll ride it for as long as it does.

Cooking

I had always been a keen chef, knocking up my own masterpieces in the comfort of the kitchen. But somewhere along the way, in between the depression, stress and kids, I lost the desire, resorting to frozen foods and ready made sauces.

With the need to calorie count and eat fresh, I feel inspired. I'm looking forward to digging out my cookbooks that have been tucked away in a box, destined for the charity shop for goodness knows how long. Tomorrow's lunch is already made, a chunky tomato soup made from scratch.

Therapy helped reconnect me to writing. The Clean 9 helped me reconnect to cooking. I am indebted to both.

Priceless

I have a real hang up about money. Whatever something costs, I'll always look to see if I can get it cheaper, constantly convinced that the world is trying to con me.

With this in mind, it has never occured to me to pay for supplements or better ingredients. Why buy a salad for lunch for £3 when I can get a ready meal for 80p?

Finally I am beginning to understand. The scales show I have lost 5lbs but a greater weight has been lifted from my mind. Breaking through the 11st barrier, clearing some of the mental fog I had been lost in, reconnecting to a hobby thought lost;  these things have no monetary value and yet to me, they are priceless.

Summary

I was sceptical about the benefits of the Clean 9 plan but my expectations were well and truly shattered.

Nine days later, I look good and I feel great. But more than that, I move forward with a positive mindset ready to implement some of the principles of the plan into my daily routines.

Healthy living is not a passive process. It is your diet, it is your life and these are your choices to make.

Consder me converted.

Next Steps

I have already placed an order the some shakes which I'll either use as breakfast, lunch or just a post-exercise protein boost.

I am also considering moving on to the Fit1 plan to carry on the good work already done and see if I can get a little closer to my long term goal of 10st 6lbs.

Finally I am excited to get back into the kitchen and am looking forward to trying out some new recipes, baking my own bread and maybe making some fun biscuits with the kids.

Aloe Vera Dreams

If you are interested in starting your own Clean 9 plan, you can find details of how to order by searching for Aloe Vera Dreams on Facebook or on Twitter @AloeVeraDreams.

The three friends had been running and playing in the jungle for hours and had wandered so far from home that they had become rather lost. They found themselves at a clearing and had tried to decide which way to go.

'It's this way,' said Ella Elephant, pointing left.

'No, this way,' said Georgie Giraffe, pointing right.

'Don't be silly, it's this way,' said Robbie Rhino, pointing straight ahead.

They stood looking at each other and at the different pathways, trying to figure out which way they should go, before they all suddenly started talking again, trying to convince the others that they were right.

Just then, there was a rustling in the bushes. The three friends turned to look, all thoughts of the way home forgotten. Just when they thought they had imagined it, they heard it again. They crept forward as quietly as they dared to get a better look when all of a sudden the leaves parted and out of the bushes leapt a ...

'LION!' screamed the three friends. And without stopping to think, they all turned and ran, each setting off in a different direction.

The lion started to shout out, 'hey wait, I'm not...' but it was too late. They had already gone.

The lion lowered her head sadly, tucked her tail between her legs and slunk back into the bushes. She had been following the three friends for the last hour. They sounded like they were having so much fun, laughing and talking and playing. She didn't have any lions of her own age to play with, all the big cats were too busy off hunting. She just wanted some friends.

After a while, she found herself at her favourite pond where she liked to stop for a drink. She lay down by the water's edge and let out a big sigh.

Just then, there was a fluttering and a shadow appeared overhead. The lion looked up and saw an eagle swoop out of the sky and land on a rock next to her.

'Why hello Lucy,' said the eagle. 'How are you today?'

'I'm sad,' said Lucy.

'Sad? Why ever are you sad?' asked the kind eagle.

'I don't have any friends to play with,' said Lucy. 'I thought I had found some other animals to be my friends but when I went to say hello, they just ran away from me.' She lowered her head onto her paws and started to cry.

'Oh Lucy,' said the eagle. 'The other animals were probably just frightened of you.'

Lucy stopped crying and looked at the eagle. 'Frightened?' she asked. 'Of me?'

'Why yes,' said the eagle. 'To them, you are a big, fierce lion.'

'But, but...' stammered Lucy. 'I'm not frightening.'

'You might be to them, Lucy.' The eagle thought for a moment. 'Take a look in the water and tell me what you see.'

Lucy thought this was a strange thing to see but she sat up and looked into the water.

'I can see my face,' she said.

'Right,' said the eagle. 'Now, give me a big smile. Yes, that's it.'

Lucy didn't feel like smiling but she tried her best and flashed a great big smile at the water. Then she stopped, closing her mouth suddenly.'

'You see, don't you?' asked the eagle.

'I'm, I'm' started Lucy. 'I'm...scary!' And she ran away from the water, burying her face into her paws and crying hard once more.

The eagle fluttered over to another rock to move closer to Lucy.

'There, there child,' he said kindly. 'You cannot help how you look. You are a lion, it is simply who you are.'

'I don't want to be a lion!' said Lucy, between sobs.

The eagle smiled softly. 'You cannot stop being a lion, Lucy. But you can change how people see you.'

Lucy stopped crying and looked to the eagle once again. 'H-how?' she asked hopefully.

'All the other animals can see is what you look like on the outside,' said the eagle. 'To them, you look like a scary lion. But if they got to know you...'

'Then they wouldn't be afraid of me any more!' shouted Lucy with delight. 'Thanks eagle, you're the best!' she said, and before the eagle could say anything further, Lucy was up and sprinting off through the bushes.

In no time at all, she found herself back at the clearing where she had first seen the other animals. But which way should she go?

Just then she heard a scream to her left followed by a faint cry of, 'Help me, help me!' Lucy set off, running down the left hand path to find out who was in trouble.

In no time at all, Lucy came across a great big pool of horrible, sticky mud. And in that great big pool of horrible, sticky mud stood a little elephant who was crying.

'Oh no, a lion!' said the elephant as she saw Lucy.

'It's okay,' said Lucy. 'I'm here to help you.'

'Y-you are?' asked the elephant, surprised.

'Sure I am!' said Lucy, and she started looking around for a way to help the elephant out of the mud. then she saw what she needed.

'Here, grab this with your trunk,' Lucy said to the elephant and, grabbing a big stick in her teeth, she stretched out to the elephant.

Ella was still a bit scared of the lion but she was even more scared of being stuck in this horrible mud forever. So she reached out her trunk and wrapped it round the big stick. The lion started pulling and, with a a loud SCHLOCK noise, her feet came out of the mud and she was pulled free.

'Oh thank you so much!' cried Ella.

'You are very welcome. My name is Lucy,' said the smiling rescuer.

'My name is Ella, Ella Elephant.'

'Very pleased to meet you,' said Lucy.

Ella looked down, sheepishly. 'I'm sorry we ran away from you earlier,' said Ella. 'We were just a bit...well, you know...'

'Frightened?' offered Lucy.

'Yeah, I guess so,' said Ella.

'That's okay,' replied Lucy. 'I understand. I guess I can look pretty scary.'

'You sure can,' said Ella, smiling. 'But you seem nice. Would you like to be my friend?'

'Oh yes!' beamed Lucy. 'That would be wonderful!'

'Well come on then, friend, let's go and find the others.' And so Lucy and Ella retraced their steps back to the crossroads. This time they went right, following a trail of footsteps until they came across a big hole in the path. At the bottom of the hole, they saw Georgie Giraffe. She was stuck.

'Hey Georgie,' said Ella.

'Oh, hey Ella, I'm so glad you...Ella look out, a LION!' cried Georgie.

Ella smiled. 'It's okay Georgie. This is Lucy. She's very nice. She's my new friend.'

Georgie was surprised but, the more she looked at Lucy, the more she started to think that perhaps she wasn't as scary as she first appeared. 'Say, could you help me out of this hole? I was running away from, er...'

'Me?' asked Lucy, smiling.

'Yes. Sorry,' said Georgie. 'Anyway, I was running and wasn't looking where I was going and I fell into this hole, now I can't get back out.

'We'll get you out!' said Ella.

But how? It was so far down. Then Lucy had an idea. She saw a strong looking vine that was dangling over the edge of the hole and grabbed it with her teeth. Realising what she had in mind, Ella climbed over her and, using her trunk to grip, grabbed hold of Ella's tail, lowering herself down just far enough so that Georgie could climb over their backs and out of the hole.

'Oh thank you both so much!' said a very relived Georgie.

'You are quite welcome,' the two friends said.

Georgie looked at Lucy. 'Can I be your friend too?' she asked.

'Oh yes, that would be wonderful!' beamed Lucy, and the three new friends headed back to the crossroads. This time, they took the path straight ahead, looking out for Robbie Rhino. They were able to follow his footprints for a while but suddenly they noticed some other sets of footprints. Someone else had been here!

After a while, they came across a big tree and saw a very strange sight indeed. For in the tree, stuck on a branch, was Robbie Rhino!

'Robbie, what are you doing up there?' asked Georgie.

'Oh Georgie, I'm so happy to see you!' said Robbie. ' I was running away from the...LION! LION!' screamed Robbie.

The three friends laughed. 'It's okay,' said Ella. 'This is Lucy, she's our friend.'

'Oh,' said Robbie. 'Well, I was running away from the lion when I started getting chased by a pack of hyenas who chased me up this tree and now I can't get down!'

'We'll help you,' said the three friends together. Lucy ran up to the tree. Ella quickly climbed onto her back, then Georgie climbed onto Ella's back and stretched her neck up to the branch.

'Cool!' said Robbie. 'You guys made a slide!' And Robbie slid down Georgie, Ella and Lucy all the way to the jungle floor.

'Thanks you guys,' said a very grateful Robbie. 'And thanks Lucy, it's nice to meet you.'

'It's very nice to meet you too,' said Lucy, beaming. 'Would you like to be friends?'

'That's a great idea,' said Robbie. 'Er say, we're a little bit lost. You don't happen to know the way back home, do you?'

But before Lucy could answer, they saw a shadow pass across the sky and an eagle swooped down to land in the tree.

'Hello eagle,' said Lucy.

'Why hello Lucy,' replied the eagle. 'And who are these animals?'

'These are my friends,' said Lucy proudly.

'Are they indeed?' said the eagle. 'Well it is very nice to meet you all. But it is getting so late! Come, follow me, I'll lead you all back home.' And with that the eagle took off back into the sky, the friends following along the path.

But they hadn't got very far when all of a sudden, out of the bushes, jumped a pack of shireking, laughing hyenas.

'Aaargh!' screamed Robbie, Ella and Georgie.

But Lucy wasn't scared. She was angry at these nasty hyenas scaring her friends. She took a deep breath and then let out a mighty ROAR! The hyenas panicked and ran away, back into the forest.

The other animals looked at Lucy, shaking with fear.

'B-but I thought you were a nice lion?' asked Ella nervously.

'I am,' said Lucy, smiling. 'But they don't know that.'

And the four new friends laughed all the way home.

Peter The Pig was a grumpy old pig who lived alone in his sty.

The other farm animals would say 'hello' but Peter would just turn a blind eye.

Then one morning it started to rain whilst Peter was rolling in mud.

It rained and it rained and it rained some more until finally it started to flood.

It flooded poor Peter right out of his pen and washed him away down the farm.

'Oh please help!', cried Peter, 'Please help this old pig, lest I should come to some harm.'

The rain washed him past horses and past a gruff billy goat and past a field full of cows.

It washed him past chickens and past little ducks until finally he stopped with an 'ow!'

'Oh won't someone help me?' cried Peter out loud, 'I'm lost all this way from my sty.'

'Don't worry,' said Ollie, the friendly little Otter, 'I'll help you, now please don't cry.'

To find your way home all you must do is retrace your steps in your mind.'

'Oh thank you dear Otter,' said Peter Pig, 'you really are ever so kind.'

So back went Peter, past ducks and chickens, past cows and a gruff billy goat.

Past all the horses and back to his pen where the rain had made a mud moat!

The very next morning, the rain had all gone and the animals all came to stop by.

And for once Peter smiled and said 'hello' and invited them into his sty.

'Welcome,' said Peter, 'to you one and all, won't you please stay and have tea and cake?'

For a friend in need is a friend indeed and grateful Peter had found friends to make.

Carly the Cat was a black and white cat who lived in a house by the sea.

She napped 'til late morning, drank saucers of milk and was quite as content as could be.

But then one day, out of the blue, came a knock on the cottage door.

And there on the step, scratching its head, stood a dog with a big hairy paw.

Well Carly the Cat looked at the dog and wrinkled her nose to a frown.

This just wouldn't do, a smelly old dog, whose hair was all dirty and brown.

She hissed at the dog, and sat on her haunches, her tail stood stiff like a dart.

The dog bared his teeth, gave a loud bark and Carly shot off with a start.

They ran out the back door and into the garden and ran all over the field.

They ran to the shops and they ran to the beach and they ran until one would yield.

They ran and they ran until it was dark, neither cat nor dog could see.

And when morning came and the sun came up, Carly found she was stuck in a tree!

She hissed and she cried but the dog only laughed and Carly began to feel sad.

And the dog's laughter stopped and he scratched his head and started to feel rather bad.

So the big hairy dog climbed onto the tree and reached out a paw with a yelp.

To Carly's surprise and great relief, the dog was trying to help.

And together they lowered Carly the Cat safely back to the ground.

And from that moment on, Carly and dog were the best friend each other had found.

Food Diary

Breakfast - 120ml Alove Vera Gel, 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, water, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Lunch - 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, Ham and egg sandwich

Dinner - Oven baked turkey fillet with roast potatoes, veg and slice of baguette (approx. 600 calories), 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets

Evening - water

Snacks - Fibre packet with water

Free Foods - 1x satsuma

Drinks - 8 glasses (circa 3l) water

Exercise - 45 minute walk

Weigh In

Last weight - 10st 13lbs

New weight - 10st 13lbs

Final Thoughts

* Day 9, the end of the plan. Phew! I made it.

* My final day weigh in shows no movement from day 6 as I weigh in at 10st 13lbs. It is tinged with a degree of disappointment but overall I am pleased to have broken through the target threshold of 11st. The degree to which I have done so is largely irrelevant.

* Of course the most pleasing thing has been the energy level and mood, both significantly improved. I have become more tired over the course of the week which is perhaps only natural but it is a very definite change nonetheless.

* I didn't quite know what to expect when I started on this plan. I flitted between expecting massive weight loss to expecting nothing whatsoever. In the end, the benefits turned out far different, and in a way far more pleasing, than anything I could have anticipated.

I will be back with one final blog tomorrow, summarising the overall experience, reviewing my weight and measurement progress and uploading some before and after snaps for the curious few.

Food Diary

Breakfast - 120ml Alove Vera Gel, 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, water, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Lunch - 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Dinner - Oven baked chicken breast with boiled potatoes, baguette topped with cheese, veg (approx. 600 calories), 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets

Evening - water

Snacks - Fibre packet with water

Free Foods - 1x apple

Drinks - 8 glasses (circa 3l) water

Exercise - 45 minute walk

Thoughts

* The penultimate day at it started poorly with a monster headache. It took me by surprise as I have not been affected with one all week despite them being a common daily feature for me before the plan. Thankfully my morning routine seemed to banish it and I was soon back to full strength.

* Weekends are often a challenge. After a long working week, I can be lacking in energy, my mood low and negative which comes out in how I act around the kids. Headache aside, my energy (and therefore mood) were noticeably improved today compared to recent weekends. Whilst I felt physically tired towards the end of the day, I did not have that sense of mental fatigue that so often accompanies a Saturday.

* The absence of the work routine made water consumption more haphazard, a lack of day time drinking somewhat crammed into the last part of the evening.

* Dinner was interesting today in that I had to work had to get my calorie count UP to 600 calories! It is amazing how many good, varied meals you can make under this threshold.

* Some real snacking urges tonight, probably a combination of it being both the weekend and the end of the plan. That and the fact that there is a half finished box of sweet, sugary chocolate just waiting for me in the ktichen. I am looking forward to Monday so that I can relax a little, perhaps a cheeky biscuit and a cup of tea. But the discipline and routines that have been established are sustainable and something I would like to continue.

* Measurement and weigh in day tomorrow. The moment of truth. I am hoping for 10st 12lbs but whatever the scales say in the morning, I have been thrilled with the results of the plan. But I'll go into more detail about that in my final blog.

Food Diary

Breakfast - 120ml Alove Vera Gel, 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, water, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Lunch - 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Dinner - Pasta with chopped tomatoes, herbs and chilli, chicken breats and salad (approx. 600 calories), 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets

Evening - water

Snacks - Fibre packet with water

Free Foods - 1x plum, 1x apple, handful of blueberries

Drinks - 8 glasses (circa 3l) water

Exercise - 30 minute walk

Thoughts

* Apparently the cleaner at work got wind of my attempts to increase my fluid intake and decided to sabotage my efforts by binning my water bottle overnight. Luckliy I had a spare, foiling the nefarious plans of this unseen evil doer.

* Day 7 and so I am nearing the end of the challenge but with this being a Friday, there is a natural pull to stop and move on. I will resist of course, there are still two days to go but the weekend will throw up new challenges as I give up the routine of work for the disorganised chaos of a House With Twins.

* I have commented on both weight and mentality during these updates but have yet to mention my third goal, skin improvements. I still have visible blemishes but overall I have definitely noticed an improvement to my complexion. My skin feels tighter and drier (in a good way) which leads me to think that with time, patience and sticking to the principles of this plan, the unslightly marks could indeed be managed away.

* Despite yesterday's dinner coming in at under 600 calories, I am experiencing real food guilt today, probably based on the fact that dinner was a pizza. It feels inherently naughty, no matter the calorie count and I was sorely tempted by an emergency weigh in this morning to check the damage done. However the pack makes it clear that your weight will fluctuate throughout the plan and so I will wait for day 9 until the next check up, as instructed.

* Similarly after tonight's dinner I feel anxious that I have miscounted and accidentally over indulged. The anxiety isn't fun but the underlying thought process is interesting; I don't want to over eat, I am actually enjoying being on a more calorie controlled, healthy diet.

* I caught myself today sub-consciously walking round rubbing my stomach, flitting between anxiously checking if my flab count has gone back up and congratulating myself on how much trimmer I feel.

* I noticed one other unexpected side affect today. I used to really enjoy cooking, often consulting receipe books and planning meals in advance. With the onset of mental illness, stress at work and a hectic family life, I left it behind, relying instead on frozen chicken or sauces out of jars.

Today I realised that I was really looking forward to my dinner because I had spent some time thinking about what I was going to have. I then started thinking about digging out my old cookbooks, perhaps even letting the kids join in to choose something they like, or a dessert I could try.

Therapy helped me to reconnect with writing. The Clean 9 may just help me reconnect with cooking.

Food Diary

Breakfast - 120ml Alove Vera Gel, 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, water, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Lunch - 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Dinner - Half Pizza Express pizza with salad (approx. 600 calories), 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets

Evening - water

Snacks - Fibre packet with water

Free Foods - 1x clementine, 2x plums, handful of grapes

Drinks - 8 glasses (circa 3l) water

Exercise - 60 minute walk

Weigh In

Last weight - 11st 1lb

New weight - 10st 13lbs

Thoughts

* I did it! Day 6 of the plan and I have achieved my weight target of sub-11st. I had been hoping for 10st 12lbs (no, I'm never happy), but this weight is fine. I have been here before but never so quickly nor in a way that feels so safe and sustainable.

* I was more tempted to eat today, frustration and boredom seeing my free foods polished off well before midday. It is an interesting insight to my usual routine, mood and general dissatisfaction clearly a strong influence into when and what I eat.

* My daily headaches remain conspicuous by their absence. Is this due to the increase in water? An improvement to diet? A reduction in sugar and caffeine maybe? Or perhaps even a benefit of the supplements? I don't know, but I like it.

* Yes, that is pizza in the picture. And yes, it really was under 600 calories. And no, calorie controlled does not mean boring.

* For the first time today I really missed dessert.

Food Diary

Breakfast - 120ml Alove Vera Gel, 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, water, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Lunch - 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Dinner - Pork chop, pasta with chopped tomatoes & herbs and veg (approx. 600 calories), 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets

Evening - water

Snacks - Fibre packet with water

Free Foods - 1x apple, 2x plums, handful of grapes

Drinks - 8 glasses (circa 3l) water

Exercise - 60 minute walk

Thoughts

* A disappointing start to the morning. After going to bed annoyed about a couple of things, I woke up in a low mood. My mind started to focus on negatives such that all the positives raised yesterday were dispelled. Instead I became fixated on my stomach and the perceived lack of movement. I am anxious about the weigh in tomorrow, desperate to see some movement on the scales but as an eye ball test, I don't think I look any different.

* This mindset extended its negativity tentacles to my day 3 and 4 meals as I began to regret the jacket potato, thinking it is too calorie and carb heavy to be good for me as an evening meal. My Mental Healthy thinking then took over as black and white thinking and catatrophising tell me that I have ruined the plan, it was a waste of time, I am destined to remain at this weight forever, and on and on.

* As with mental health, balanced thinking is the key. I have followed the plan, I have improved my diet and I have continued with exercise. If I don't lose any weight then I must accept that that is so. Worrying or procrastinating about it is unlikley to trim any extra pounds.

* And besides, I have noticed benefits. Of my 3 goals, I deemed matters of the mind the least likely to achieve and the hardest to judge and yet it is here where I have a tangible sense of improvement. Whatever else happens in the remaining days, it is important not to lose sight of this in my rush for self judgement and damnation.

* I feel generally more tired today. I suspect this is in part due to my 1 hour lunchtime walks. I enjoy them but I am perhaps pushing myself a little too hard, my legs in particular beginning to protest, and so may reduce the time or intensity for the last few days of the plan.

* I remain surprised by just how full I feel after my lunchtime shake. I have drunk 300ml of skimmed milk yet I feel like I have polished off a 12oz steak and chips with extra lashings of stomach filler.

* It is now five days without tea and other than the routine of drinking it (breaks in the day, evening after dinner) I haven't missed it that much. I look forward to having a cup when the plan is over but this has been a useful exercise in demonstrating that I can easily reduce my intake.

* Talking of routines, Wednesday would normally mean crisp day. Suffice to say, I didn't miss them.

Food Diary

Breakfast - 120ml Alove Vera Gel, 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, water, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Lunch - 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets, 1x Therm Tablet, 300ml Lite Ultra Shake (with skimmed milk)

Dinner - Medium sized jacket potato with turkey steak, grated cheese and side salad (approx. 600 calories), 2x Garcinia Softgel Tablets

Evening - water

Snacks - Fibre packet with water

Free Foods - 1x apple, 2x plums, 6x red grapes

Drinks - 8 glasses (circa 3l) water

Exercise - 60 minute walk

Thoughts

* An unusual feeling this morning as I woke up feeling full! Apparently my 600 calorie food-fest of the night before had stuffed me to the gills to the point that I almost didn't want my shake first thing. I did consider waiting until I got to work but I'm a believer in having breakfast early to kick start your day so I glugged it down.

* Mood and energy is again vibrant. I have had no headaches today, the only pain a recurrent neck / shoulder ache that results from long term issues of posture and anxiety. I just feel more awake, to the point that my sight even seemed clearer, bizarre as that sounds. It feels like a shroud has been lifted off of my mind that I didn't know had been there.

* Let's see how I feel at the next weigh in but with each day of increased energy and improved mood, I find myself slowly coming around to the thought that maybe, just maybe, weight loss will turn out be the least important benefit to me of the Clean 9.

* With the experience of day 3, morning hunger was more easily managed. I added some grapes, as much for the mental benefit of feeling like I am eating as anything. There were no serious pangs, no moments of naval gazing or soul searching, even through to late afternoon with the, er, interesting tasting Fibre packet coming as an afterthought at 4pm, used only because it was on the plan rather than to satiate any desire.

* As per the previous day, a vigorous lunchtime walk was followed by a tasty shake. It is surprising how much I look forward to it but it is a very convenient 'meal' for work and I can be confident that it's packed full of stuff I need, not garbage found in a processed ready meal. I would be quite happy to continue using it as a breakfast and / or lunch replacement after the plan has finished.

* Speaking of which, I am becoming more conscious of what we put in our bodies, to the point that I silently 'tut' in my mind when I see those around me eating unhealthy snack foods. Embarking on this plan has, in the short term at least, helped to make me more accountable to myself of what I am eating. It will be a challenge to maintain going forward as I try to balance cost and convenience against health and well being but ultimately it comes down to a choice of who I want to be and how I want to feel.

The lesson, as ever, is a simple one;  you can change.